Bert and Bairds

Shady Lady

2010-06-07T09:30:00.000-07:00

It's summa summa summa tiiiime, summa tiiiime. What do you do with a soon to be 5 month old and sweltering 115 degree heat? Head for the water, in ANY form.

Ps doesn't Baird resemble Russell Brand?

Ahhh

RoadTrip

2010-06-02T09:29:00.001-07:00

A little old family from Pasadeeena (beachboy shril voice). First roadtrip with the mooks to Cali-fornia. Cousin getting hitched at the Santa Anita racetrack equaled 7 hour drive on the road with a content baby. Only 2 rest stops and a couple poopy explosive changes later, we were arrived our destination, Westin Pasadena.
Yard House pizza and beer at 10 pm with sound sleeping baby equaled happy parents. Saturday we explored, just us three with our city mini and hot dogs from a "gourmet stand".
Late to the wedding, oh how this will never change and an early evening back to the hotel after our "no cry baby" had a sad cold night.
Feet sucking and comfy bed for all.

Are you my Mother?

2010-05-24T12:09:00.000-07:00

This little strawberry shortcake made my first Mother's day sweet and tart, just like a real strawberry would. And the Daddy made blueberry pecan pancakes for breakfast, accompanied by a side of coffee picnic under shady trees at the park. We spent the morning looking up at the leaves outlined in sunshine and wiggling our toes in the blades of grass.

Baby Bake'in

2010-04-12T15:18:00.000-07:00

ME: Baby mama at 27 weeks, before pregnancy induced swelling inflated my body to the size of a hot air balloon.

Much needed documentation, you know for future reference.

Equation

2010-04-12T14:56:00.000-07:00

BERT + BAIRD = baby baird (Bairds)

Hiatus

2010-04-12T14:44:00.001-07:00

Hiatus: Hiatus may refer to: Recess (break), a break or interruption in the continuity of a work, action, etc/ (thank you Wikipedia). Hiatus is what I have taken with this here blog, that is until SHE came:

Welcome to the new BertandBairdS (plural, now there is 3). Our new addition to BertandBaird is Noe Wylder Baird, sweet baby girl born January 12, 2010.

Pit Stop

2009-03-30T17:23:00.001-07:00

This is a favorite place to drop by for that mid afternoon hunger pang. Eco water bottle purchase (see post below) preceded by window browsing at Anthropologie and West Elm to name a few, the decision was made to indulge in the American Grilled Cheese Sandwich from Chloe's Corner. Contents included White American, Cheddar, baby Swiss Cheese, bacon, tomato and white bread, with of course a little crispy pickle on the side. I am a simple girl I AM.

Twisty bar seat + salt water taffy at candy counter = satisfied. Thank you bus boy for the free water with ice. BTW, how do you think that girl holding flower wall paper would look in my kitchen? Right too weird, pink shirt and red flowers would go waaay better.

Drink to this

2009-03-30T17:09:00.000-07:00

Eco friendly glass water bottles to mimic the "trashier" plastic version. Addicted to water bottles, I have adopted a resolution for my water container consumption, this is IT. Crate and Barrel comes in small and large, I prefer the bigger, you know for more water intake.

The Replacements

2009-03-25T17:16:00.000-07:00

Ever since DOMINO has been on the outs, I've been searching the world near and far for a replacement to fill the deep mag hole in my Swiss cheese heart. I stumbled across AntlerMag from one of my fave bloggers sfgirlbybay as I paraded about for my daily dose of creative flow. VIOLA, instantly feelin INSPIRED by the muted picture designs and indie chic style. Kudos and major bonus points to the deer people for deleting the carbon footprint left behind by the typical paper mag.

Environmental admission: IT is a guilty pleasure to select the thickest of magazines with the glossiest of finishes. Deep in my heart I know with each paper bundled booklet, I am axing mother natures friendly trees to the grave. I might as well take a match to Tonto National Forrest and Enjoy the sparked spectacular view. I DO however also love the ACT. Licking my thumb and pointer finger pinched together as if holding a grain of sand, leaving slick spitty residue to stick and turn the heavily glossed pages while a crisp flick finishes it ALL off. Leisurely meandering through ( back to front is my style) as if I were browsing down a store aisle, inspecting contents like they were the last thing left in the world.

Perhaps the click of my little black mouse or the stamp stamping of my keyboard arrow button could prove to provide the same effect. We'll see, In the meantime, I will enjoy this new website subscription venture.

ISSUE ONE

Ya'll

2009-03-11T18:38:00.000-07:00

For old times sake:

He rocks in the tree tops all day long, Hoppin' and a-boppin' and singing his song, All the little birdies on Jaybird Street, Love to hear the robin go tweet tweet tweet "It's almost Spring Break, Tweet Tweeteleteet".

Yee Haw is right.

Willo

2009-03-09T17:02:00.001-07:00

Knock knock. Who's there? Willo. Willo Whoooo? Willo, the darling neighborhood you stalk in your free time. You know driving up and down the neighborly streets, braking at bold red doors and gardened walkways? Sweet huz and I spent a drizzly Sunday afternoon in historic downtown Phoenix. Our umbrella as a canopy as we strolled down the palmed lined streets, basking in green lawned glory. The azaleas and bougainvillea were in full bloom, our hearts content. I was the map gatekeeper choosing the houses we would target first as Andrew devoured a giant bratwurst in one hand, balancing a bag of chips in the other before he could exude the energy needed to house "Visit".

This time, I was not on the outside looking in as I've been so many times before, but the in looking out. Much larger than they appear from the street, but just as charming. Full of original tiled character and restored hardwood humility. With the exception of the occasional creepy life size doll at the top of stairs and Hansel and Gretel figurines, the houses were lovely with a capital L. There is something to say about a neighborhood evolved out of the 20's and 30's that still holds true to it's original identity. Living in Phoenix surrounded by a sea of beige and fake adobe abodes, it's revitalizing to capture a glimpse that hasn't given way to the "stamped out" southwest version of row houses.

Excuse the trying to smile but not face, this truly is evidence of a day well spent. Sonora Brewhouse beckoned our tired bones after our walking feet gave way from the stone pavers and puddley streets. Homemade potato chips with spicy ketchup and ice cold brews provided the foundation for our retrospective conversation. We will find our way back again in 2010.

Now lay me gently down to sleep

2009-03-09T16:03:00.000-07:00

Color infused pouf pillows from Urban Outfitters , I'll take twenty! I am lucky enough to have one that is similar residing on my guest bed, billowy tufts and all. Except the color is celery, more silky like and made by extra gifted hands.My leafy one of a kind treasure is handmade by my favorite Llama (aka second Mama). I'm hoping she can pass on her knitting and sewing abilities by osmosis.

Je'taime. It is a dear favorite.

PLAY HOOKY

2009-03-09T12:10:00.000-07:00

Have a cowboy cookie. What better way to make a Monday into a Funday than to stay home to bake sweetish delights. Sorry job, I needed a day to play. I'll be back with a vengeance tomorrow.

Cowboy Cookie Recipe, delish. They are a tantalizing taste bud sensory mixture of gewy chewy crunchy chocolaty goodness.

2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
8 ounces (2 sticks) unsalted butter, softened
3/4 cup granulated sugar
3/4 cup light-brown sugar
2 large eggs
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1 1/2 cups old-fashioned oats
6 ounces semisweet chocolate, cut into 1/4-inch chunks (1 cup)
3 ounces (3/4 cup) pecan halves
1/2 cup shredded unsweetened coconut

Recipe from my beloved MARTHA.

2009-02-16T09:39:00.000-08:00

Lot's of love phrases to spill over throughout the day. Share the LOVE
and avoid the cliche by visiting ILoveYouMoreThanBlank, click the pink above. Love is all around.

Be Mine Valentine

2009-02-14T19:27:00.000-08:00

What, don't we all turn into shmancy wolves from the Victorian era on Valentines Day? Well you should visit our house for a change, you might just encounter faux bois manners and chivalry ways with a side of extra bountiful bouquets. Visit darling Jezebel for paper delights.

YUP IT UP

2009-02-12T16:50:00.000-08:00

Arnold Palmer would be proud as the day was spent at the FBR in Scottsdale. We came equipped with our button down striped shirts and sun dresses. We forgot this golf fest does not attract the sophisticated air (as of course we had anticipated ;) ).... but quite the opposite, wild banshees and drunkard barbarians.

Ahuhahuhahuhahuhah (long cigarette in hand, quick flick to the side) we made sure to look down upon our lesser counterparts with a smug grin. FORE!

For those of you needing a lesson on what exactly the FBR is...click here (just know now you are thought less of as well).

Yours Truly,

The Yuppies

P.S This is who we were pulling for. He gave a tough fight, but came out as a loser in the end. Perhaps NASCAR would be a better fit? There is always next year Charly.

2009-02-07T11:16:00.000-08:00

I feel as though I still want to take a ride on the "Obama Change Express", what better way to continue the love than to sport a personal portrait of presidential fun, ObamaME ObamaYOU!

2009-01-20T17:09:00.000-08:00

Idea from here, Click here to create

Westward

2009-01-19T11:22:00.001-08:00

Dear Husband......a thank you memento,

The westward ho getaway that you surprised me with for X-Mas was the perfect retreat . Room 1102 was ours for the night, allowing us to escape back in a RETRO haze.

How did you know this was to be my new favorite place? Exposed brick slathered in white, trapezoid balconies, sparkly Palms to guide us at night, electric blue walls to go with my flashy tights..... YOU and ME.

We were like giddy kids who couldn't believe our good fortune that we happened to stumble upon.

We will find our way back again, until then lets reminisce.

Everyone needs a little vintage spiciness NOW and THEN, so Click here for the time warp

Light My Sparkle

2009-01-03T17:47:00.000-08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2009! It's going to be a good one, I can feel it.

Click HERE to see how we spent it:

TIMBERRRR

2008-12-23T13:39:00.000-08:00

I think I may want to be a "lumberjill", the feminine of the "lumberjack". You know the bearded, burly, strong, suspender wearing Paul Bunyan character. Except as a lumberjill, I imagine that there is a ladylike touch to the sawing and axing of trees, such as the shiny paint job above.... hi diddle dee de it's a lumberjack life for ME.

Flakes

2008-12-15T18:41:00.000-08:00

A spec, flurry oh chalky white, will you please visit tonight? Looking up, catch my lashes, tongue out, land mid flight. Snowy thoughts for bedtime.

Matter

2008-11-15T09:40:00.001-08:00

http://www.keepcalmcarryon.com/

KEEP CALM and CARRY ON: A mantra that does my body and SOUL good. IT seems as though the times we are facing may take us back to the basics. Before our consumer minds were crazed with the next fix and WANT was just a glimmer. My heart is heavy from the struggles that be grudge. Perhaps struggle, is a blessing in disguise that presents itself in a bruised and battered package, whose contents prove to be a treasure.

It often seems as though we cannot see what is right before us, but that it takes a fine tooth comb to discover the nitty gritty of the everyday that is combined to form matter, you know the matter that REALLY "matters". Matter by definition is "That of which the sensible universe and all existent bodies are composed; anything which has extension, occupies space, or is perceptible by the senses; body; substance". You see, it is when we focus on OUR content, rather than the extrinsic that tend to lead us a stray.....with the microscopic lens of our composition that we can realize the blessings....WITHIN.

Sex on Fire

2008-11-11T08:52:00.000-08:00

*Photo via the concert blog, Jim Harrington*

My 'flava' of love band the KINGS ooze "Sex on Fire", which also happens to be a single on their new album. If I were a young southern Belle living under the magnolia trees in Savannah, Georgia, I would tattoo I heart kings on my bosom and drop out of High School to relish in a teen crazed rebellion revolving around ROck BaNDs, making sure to renounce all things holy and pure. Caleb Followills voice is crisp and fine, making me shake in my pretend 'southern boots'. Tight white washed jeans, excessive facial hair mustachios and the sharp collared jackets of his 'mates' complete this revelry ensemble....I AM consumed with what's to transpire.

FIZZLE SIZZLE

2008-09-21T18:43:00.001-07:00

Tststsssssss......goes the sound of mother nature smoldering the flame of Arizona's heat inferno. Ignited is cinnamon, socks, warm cider, straw, rosy cheeks, chilly evenings, fuzzy scarfs and wood crackling fires. Wait...... sCratCH... (pretend to hear a record album come to a screeching halt). Let's face it, in our neck of the woods, uhh I mean desert, we only experience the above mentioned in movies such as "Dan in Real Life" (which I have watched repeatedly) and "Hocus Pocus" (my favorite). Where trees actually turn shades of red, orange and yellow, crumpled leaves pile in yards, sweaters and scarfs come out of hibernating boxes. Where tips of noses turn a soft shade of pink and an exhaled breath in the morning is a puff cloud of white.

I find myself wanting to taste the nutmeg, touch the yarn, feel the warmth and smell the dusty bitter air when it peeks it's apple pie head around the corner. Fall can't come to ME in the literal sense of the word, but I can come to IT, in a leafy tradition and orange festive touch. A pumpkin spice candle, baked walnut and apple desert, muffins, everything stick colored, soft quilts, warm cinnamon tea with honey, make an appearance or two at the Bairds (even if we still have the option of swimming, wearing sunscreen and having outdoor barbeque's).

These are the best days of the whole year and an opportunity to "turn a new leaf". Here is to freshly sharpened pencils and golden appled evenings spent with the familiarities of a new SEASON.
Psssst, it's almost halloween.

JOIN US

2008-09-14T09:06:00.000-07:00

My amazing BFF Carolyn is at the forefront of this charity event to help the sweet family, the Nielson's. Not only are you going to be able to find and afford awesome one of a kind vintage (Nie would aprove) items, but you will be donating for a good cause. We will see you there!

"h♥pe for Nie" Nielson charity garage sale!

who: anyone who likes to give things or buy
what: baked goods, furniture, silent auctions, crafts/art, and nick knacks
where: Agritopia community center(on Agritopia loop Gilbert, AZ 85296)
when: 7 am to 1pm sat sept 27th

If you'd like to donate any furntiture, time, baked goods etc. for this event, email me at lilleyb2000@yahoo.com.

Other ways to help on Nie dialogues and Cjane run.

BUZZ.........

2008-09-06T09:46:00.000-07:00

picture from Purlsoho.com

picture fromPurlsoho.com

COMFY CHAIR + LATEST BOOK READ Equals= Want to Knit

EXPLANATION: Currently reading "Friday Night Knitting Club" for Book Club, brings

out the knitter from within....a secret yurning that is just waiting to come out. Visit Purlbee.com.

for warm fuzzies and other balls of delight

I think I want to TRY..........

I Luf HIM

2008-09-04T17:44:00.000-07:00

Ahhhh, he's turning 27

MY Birthday Boy.....aka, LOVE of my life:

Worlds longest and slimmest legs (and he's a man), two A-Holes buying a Christmas Tree, Marathon Supporter, Grill wearing gangsta, Gunther look a like (you've got to check this Euro ManFest out), Scum Stache (all you boyz are jealous of my manly man, he can grow hair like you wouldn't believe).

And the kicker, he rescued sweet innocent little kittens when his steel hearted wife turned them away to the streets.

O Happy Day!!!

LABOR DAY (minus "day")

2008-09-03T18:10:00.000-07:00

RECIPE: CUPCAKES ,

Southern Ginger Lemonade, Grassy Knoll, 2 ski polls, bottles and 4 very enthusiastic players, WHITE clothes, Southern Cali Chicken Tacos with Summer Corn and White Bean Rosemary Dip, For Like Eva and One Strawberry upsidown cake. An afternoon well spent.

BIRD BRAIN

2008-09-03T17:39:00.000-07:00

New purchase from Etsy..... in my bathroom REDUX.

It is a bit Nefertiti and definitely gets the "Oh, that's an interesting choice for a photo".

One picture that I bought on Etsy was from a lady on the Island of Crete. We corresponded back and forth a few times and of course she was ever grateful, in her "Cretish" accent that came through via type.

Buy ETSY. You'll feel so good about it.

So Long Summer

2008-07-28T12:24:00.000-07:00

It was fun while it lasted and it was nice to know you.

My "real JOB" as a Speech Therapist has begun AGAIN (riiiiight... your jaw just dropped that I am not technically a "professional blogger"cause I am THAT good). Naw yo, full time, 8 plus hour workdays at a school, fixing lisps and r's (common misconception, this is not at ALL what I do) is where it's at for me.

Sooo without further ado, my "ODE" to a summer well spent.

The "Late Show with David Letterman" has the top
ten, "10 Things I hate about you" and "How to loose a guy in 10 days" (don't pretend you're too good for these classics) put emphasis on the number 10. Which is why I have chosen to highlight my summer in a top 10 fashion (in random order. I promise #1 was not more fun or cooler than #7).

Why should you care you ask? I don't know, why anyone reads this blog is beYOND me, but nonetheless, I KNOW you're out there.

10. Running the Rock and Roll Marathon SAN DI-AGO because C-Note made me. I thanked her later. Although I think she may have lost a little respect for me due to crying and pleading at mile 23, while gasping for air and hyper-ventilating.

(obviously I wanted to catch your attention, ahh SHIZZZ....., get ready for the rest....... )

9. Getting locked out of my own house for 3 hours, shoe less and in a revealing, let's say "loose" top with no bra(let your imagination run wild), hang-in with the neighbies. "Don't be fooled by the rocks that I got, cuz I'm still W-T from the block".

8. Enjoying the mornings, paying close attention to the beautiful sunrises and chirping birds. MMMM-K, this did NOT happen, despite multiple attempts and the best intentions. Heh, a girlz gotta catch up on some z's.

7. Spying on neighbors daily activities....this is not as pathetic as it sounds, I was TOTALLY busy and way too good for this, just checking to make sure you're still there.

6. Endless hours at Barnes and Noble, fingering through magazines so that making sure not to spend a DIME. Does it sound like I had too much time on my hands?

5. TODAY show in the morning (minus Meridith Vierra's stupid, inappropriate jokes, face and awkward laugh. She's SO lame). I hate to even mention the extra 4th hour with Hoda Kofi and Kathy Lee, GAG. Are the executives kidding?!

4. Almost dying while tubing the Salt River....there ARE rapids! I had a new found sense of life's delicate balance.

3. CO-ED soccer in 110 plus degree heat, while going up against a MAN WOMAN beast named Sabina (seriously her name, doesn't it sound like a lioness?), the jury is still out on that one.
P.S. still getting over groin injury...1 month later and continuing to ponder mysterious opponents sex.

2. ALMOST buying a $30.oo Eames swivel chair at Goodwill, but not, do to previous agreement with THE significant other, only to go back on 1/2 off Saturday ('cause $15 sounds so much better than $30) to find it was GONE! Did I mention that they go for $35oo? Yahhh, that day I almost gave up, but then quickly realized, life's not about possessions (barf). This one deserves an entire dedicated blog entry to be determined at a later date. Stay tuned.

Drum roll please

1. Taking care of one deathly ill Husband. OK, so I may have a slight problem with worrying, I thought he was going to die.......Between the night sweats and uncontrollable shivers, thoughts of incurable diseases and rare illnesses swarmed my every thought. Some day some one will thank me for thinking of the random 1 in a millionth disease that I discover from their symptoms. These occasions put life into perspective (and it sure helped that it happened after the EAMES chair incident, I finally let it go).

Did you notice how I turned so many negatives into positives? Kudos to Luise L. Hay, author of the self help book of the NOW . Also a summer pastime, but not noteworthy enough to make the top ten.

SIDE NOTE: I use way to many of these " " and these (blah blah blah blah).

I like 'em hard....ahh errr (double wink)

2008-07-21T14:58:00.000-07:00

Soo....I was at AJ's Fine Foods the other morning looking to take advantage of their delicious bakery concoctions. First, with the best intentions I headed over to the fruit section and picked out THE perfect banana. I figured if I was going to fill my body with delicious, sweet empty calories, I might as well have a lil healthy potassium to go with it. Then, I made my way over to the bakery counter. Oooh, ahhh!! All the buttery croissants, turnovers, Cinnamon rolls and donuts a sugar craving girl could ask for. "Can I help you" the fine gentleman behind the counter asked, "Ummm, ahh, err, I don't know want I want yet"....I responded. After scouring up and down the rows of delicacies in the glass case, I spotted my indulgence for the morning. "Umm" I said, "I'll have the nut roll. "Awkward" I thought to myself. I could have said "the roll with Carmel and nuts or, "The Cinnamon nut roll" but no, I chose the classy mantastic one word syllable. I placed my accompanying banana on the counter to also be rung up. "Are you sure you want the green one" he asked, "it's not going to be very ripe yet for eating. "Oh, yah, I know" I responded "I like em hard, otherwise their too mushy and soft, ahhhhh yaah (voice trails off)". Nice! I wanted to reverse word vomit. Who says stuff like that "One large nut roll, with a side of hard banana, cause that's how I like 'em"? He probably thought I was one of those undercover secret sex world chicks talking "code" for "I want your junk".

Chiquita! Ba da dum dum chink.

Re-bonjour Project Runway

2008-07-17T11:13:00.000-07:00

Epi 1:
Designers construct outfits from crazy materials (i.e. plastic cups, coffee filters, lettuce, tablecloths, etc.). To watch these designers construct wearable ART out of everyday usable items, was inspiring. I felt like rummaging through drawers and garage storage boxes to "redeem" thrown out items for new use.

My favorite, top is coffee filters with holes burned for a pattern and....bottom is dyed vacuum bags and.....the back is hook and eye closures from a notebook spiral, what?!

Dress constructed with CANDY, how SWEET. Although not the most innovative or pulled off (the designer kind of copped out at last minute).
Her top is made from BALLS.....you know the kind you can kick and they bounce forever. Bottom is lawn chair fabric, how durable, heh.

I have a ton of paper clips just lying around.....perhaps a skirt is in store.

Having to be creative with limited materials is always way more interesting than having an infinite amount of choices at your fingertips. Design can be so stuffy and snobby. This proves it's not about who it came from or the extravagant amount, but thinking outside the box and having a vision (can you tell which side of the tracks I'm from).

Carpe Diem!

EL TORRO BRAVO

2008-07-15T11:41:00.000-07:00

A bull shirt with horns and stripes scored for the HUZ-BAND at a whopping .99 cents from a local, shall I say cost friendly store. Who would have thought that this would be my huz's new equivalent to a "Mister T" shirt at say age 6, that got the little fuzzy balls and faded logo from too much washing and wearing. You know, we all had that article of clothing, blanket and/or stuffed animal (mine was a strawberry shortcake skirt with frilly lace that was degraded to a rag).

First some background: If I ever have any kind of inkling of buying clothing for the huz, it has to be cheap and NON BRAND (AKA, Target, Mexico's street market and my personal favorite Walgreens... specifically shirts with themes such as the quintessential dancing kachina and the timeless purple mountain with the howling desert coyote in the forefront. It's easy to get carried away).

This is the guy that expressed excessive, unrelenting refusal and would not even TRY ON a pair of Abercrombie jeans that I bought him (back in the day, you know, when there was a song about it), which now I can appreciate as I have since moved on from the lacrosse/cricket/tea enjoying "scene". He'd be perfectly fine wearing stretchy sweat pants and tapered white wash jeans (which he was famous for in high school).

Well, I knew "I had him from hello" when I came home that day with the see through plastic bags full to the brim, it's contents exposed. The "gently used" shirt treasures ranged from a Miami Vice Esq see through pastel pink button up with turquoise and lavender stripes (think day at the beach, chest hair exposed), blue paisley pattern (a little femme, I'll admit),to his personal FAVE, El BRAVO(can't blame him, have you seen the intricate stitching). Who knows if it's because the tag says Roper, in his words "A real cowboy brand" or his dreamy thoughts of the handle bar mustache, boot and spur stomping, ass hugging wrangler wearing of a rustic Ranch Man who used to own it. What can I say, whether it is because of the previous owner or original grass roots, as long as he keeps sportin it (it's been a week and he has worn it 5 out of 7 days), I'll support whatever fantasy he conjures up.
OLE!

DAZLIOUS

2008-07-14T13:57:00.000-07:00

white, delicate, lace, fall slow
whirl, fleet, up and down, finally down
land, soft, fury of white
Perfect

A movie review (by yours truly):

The human condition is put under a microscope and illuminated in the movie "SNOWCAKE".

My Take: The feeling of connection and sameness may be difficult to gain in a world where to most you are just another speck amongst an infinite amount. But to a few, the ones that matter...Dazlious.

A snowflake saunters to the ground from the sky with the vast number of mute white, unknown territory until it joins the army of others on the blanket of ground, uniquely different yet all the same.

This movie "takes the cake" on so many levels, that I would not do it justice in summary. Here, enjoy a slice or two (wink):

(Playing Comic Book Scrabble)
Linda: "B-A-A-N-G". Alex: "You can't have two A's in bang. Linda: "In Comic Book Word Scrabble, you can. You can have three A's if you want".

(On Alex's appearance)
Linda: "Do people like you Alex"? Alex: "Not much, no". Linda: "I'm not surprised. It's because those glasses don't look right on your face, you have a long face and those glasses make you look shifty".

(From Linda, who happens to have Autism)
"Neurotypical people are obsessed with having friends. I'm only trying to help you get some".

See it. It is Perfectamundo!

2008-06-25T15:42:00.000-07:00

CHECK IT OUT: A house in Encanto Palmcroft in downtown Phoenix......Doesn't the red door just make you want to BANG on it. Who lives there and what is is like inside? Probably annoyingly cute and put together.

Ambushed

2008-06-25T11:01:00.000-07:00

An afternoon with Grandma......... Ambushed AND famous. Who knew that a lunch on a whim at a new restaurant would result in an appearance on the five o'clock news? Bombay Spice, a nondescript place in a strip mall, proved to be more than we bargained for. It was our 15 minutes of fame and all we could think about was "Well at least they didn't interview us about the food". It just so happened that it tasted like spicy dirt.

It all started with the FOX news van pulling up with the sparkly reporter in tow, sporting the "stuck on smile". The reporter, followed by the sly camera man ( I am still in awe that he was able to lug around a camera the size of a miniature refrigerator with a beam of light that could kill) lurked around the restaurant pretending to just be observers, but in reality were secretly waiting for the opportunity to pounce on their prey.

The light came out of no where, like when you're pulled over by an officer in the dark, shooting their superhuman strength flashlight (OK floodlight) in your eyes, making you see stars, to throw you off guard and to daze even the most veteran "schmoozer". Well, this proved to be a precipitated sneak attack, we were "BLINDED BY THE LIGHT (song jingle)" of the camera man in front and sneaked upon from behind by a dumb fuzzy black cotton ball of a microphone, shortly followed by that trident grin(aka reporter) and a slider of a question.

Seriously, the way they literally came out of no where, I swear there could have been a conveyor belt for their moves, they were so smooth. I managed to bumble out an answer to her dumb question about the gay coin that the restaurant was giving out in order to "repay" their customers. I didn't have the heart to tell the owner that not even a fake gold coin could persuade me to come back to eat the spicy and snot inflicting food that had the texture of slop mixed with sand. What is that you say "they didn't want your comments about the food"? No thank God, glory and alleluia! I don't think I could have mustered up a good enough "it was delicious" for the camera. Grandma and I walked away from the "incident" unharmed and a story for our family to watch on the news that evening. Fame comes when you least expect it. I always knew I wanted to be a movie STAR.

Icing on the cake......
Later, after I dropped my supporting role of a Grandma off at home, I stopped at a Goodwill store. I was in the check out line with my great finds (as always) when I was caught off guard by the cashier. Instead of the usual focus on the scanning of items and the immanent "Hi how are you"? The cashier asked " Are you a movie STAR"? Maybe it was because I had on my gigantic sunglasses....which (for those of you that are US weekly frequenters) are the universal symbol for "I don't want to be recognized and if I cover up half of my face with these gigantic bug looking things, no one will notice me". I responded with a humble "No, No". After a second look at my drivers license he insisted that I had been in a movie, to which I replied with a swift tussle of the hair "I WAS on the NEWS today". He replied with an impressed "Ohhh (Spanish emphasis)". The deal was sealed and he gave me my receipt and told me "To keep smiling and that it would cure the world". I gave him a quivering lip smile , my first fan.